consider myself fortunate to have nanny Irene whom I can rely on, a hands-on husband, parents
and in-laws who assist with school runs and extramural activities and much more.
Am I a traditional mother? No, neither do I strive to be one. I love and cherish my children,
consider them blessings, and realise that they are the most significant life-altering experiences,
but they are not my only purpose. I’m a firm believer that purpose is diversified by facets, all part
of the same whole. This forces me to acknowledge and accept that work-life balance is a false
pre-set condition setting woman everywhere up for failure and a long road of guilt. All of this
allows me to be a non-traditionalist integrator.
Working women have been shamed into believing that by admitting this, you are failing. It’s not
an option for me to work; I must work. Like many other working mothers, I have not figured it out
yet, since there is always a nagging thought making one wonder, “Are you doing the right thing”
or “Are you making the best decisions for your children and family?” Yet, the comfort I find in love
for my children and my passion for my work serves as a reason not to choose either or.
We are not in a competition between working moms versus non-working moms. Mothers should
be able to choose their motherhood role and use available resources to do the best they can.
Working mothers must make peace with being the mother at children’s extramural activities
sitting with a laptop on her lap working while stealing glances at their performance. Or buying a
cake and transferring it onto a cake stand for the school cake sale. It is not about being perfect
but being present. It is also totally ok to say “No” from time to time and instead consider
opportunities that benefit you or your family. We should not perpetuate the outdated perception
for working mothers.
True happiness does not mean that you need to manage a perfect balance. The most important
job I have is to support my family, pay my dues to ensure that my children have all that they
need—being mindful that I need to get it together or risk ruining someone else forever. Whether
working or being a stay at home mother, still means you’re a mother. No one is better than the
other; they both deserve respect. I cannot define my motherhood choices the same as the mother
next to me. We are different. Neither can I tell anyone how to be a mother. My way isn’t ‘the
way’, but you can choose yours and make it work.